Not for Me

When people share their news and happiness, I accept them as things that are good for them and not for me. I can rattle off a list of things that are Not for Me: snapping a family photo at graduation, relaxing on vacation, finding comfort in faith, watching the Olympics opening ceremonies, watching the Democratic national convention, sharing first day of school photos on FB, taking pride in accomplishments, making love, chatting at the grocery store, catching up on the day, having hopes and dreams, enjoying simple pleasures.

So naturally my interest piqued when the acupuncturist aimed the needle at my head. I’d heard what happens–people feel stoned. I could use that. But the needle could not penetrate the heaviness in my head. All it did was to invite me to sit with that heaviness for the 20 minutes that I lay there. The heaviness feels like packed cotton, fyi.

So, for crying out loud, add “feeling virtually stoned” to the list. Not for me.


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