I padded around the house this morning feeling…enclosed, as if in a bubble. I felt a bit of the floating around that I’d felt over the summer, like I’ve just washed ashore here, and am not quite a part of this place I find myself in. I think my memories are blocked again.
The last few weeks have been hard weeks of grieving and healing. I’ve made progress, but the process wore me down. My body was tight again over the weekend. I stretched throughout the day. My temper was a little short. Rather than have meltdowns like I did over the summer, last week I’d feel my heart become a stone and know that it was coming. I’d get myself away from the kids, breathe, and stay steady until it went away.
There goes my memory. It will come back. I trust that it will, and I trust that I need to forget, for now. This is the brain’s way of protecting me.