I was the only one to show up for the restorative yoga class on this holiday weekend. The teacher taught it anyway. Towards the end she put me in a “butterfly pose” to, she explained, “open up my hips and heart.” She propped my head on a pillow and put bolsters on either side supporting my legs. I felt so supported and enclosed, like I was in a cocoon. It was relaxing, and I settled in for the 5 minute pose.
A few minutes in, I felt tears run out of my left eye. Then, tears out of my right eye. It was as if someone turned on the faucet. I had no control over it. I didn’t feel sad, I wasn’t thinking sad thoughts; it was just happening to me. Then I gasped and sobbed. It was like the pose really did open up my heart, and it found the pain. The pain is there whether I feel emotional or not. It’s always there. She held my hand while I let it out.
It happens sometimes, she explained.