I woke up daughter a few minutes early. “Look out the window,” I whispered.
She bundled herself up, pulled the sleds out of the garage, and slid down the front yard.
I thought about how I was going to get down the driveway.
For the first snowfall on my own, this one was a gentle introduction. It was just a powder. I only had to sweep it today, instead of shoveling. But it kept coming down and, surprisingly, it stuck. I made my first pass of snow-sweeping in the dark, then took my son to his midterm exam. I needed to do another pass before driving daughter. I could see her sailing down the hill out of the corner of my eye while I pushed the broom.
The driveway is long and steep, and it tends to ice up where it meets the street. On the drive down, I reminded myself that the car is an all-wheel drive, it wasn’t icy, people do this all the time. I dropped daughter off at school, where she announced she forgot her lunch. *wince* I picked up son from his midterm. He suggested we drop off $2.50 at her principal’s office and make her buy a school lunch. I, of course, dropped him off at home, grabbed the lunch, and dropped it off at her school. That was three trips down the driveway this morning.
I got some other errands done while I was out. It was fine, it was really fine. But when I returned home, I crawled into bed. I needed to sleep it off. I only dozed off for a few minutes, but I slept off the fear, the underlying fear that I can’t keep them safe. The fear does me no good. I take pains to keep them safe, and they feel secure, but the fear lingers, anyway. Blessed sleep.